My Story

November 26, 2021, I experienced in that moment how my life would never be the same. My best friend, the one person who I shared EVERYTHING with was gone. He was my first good morning and last kiss goodnight every day. He was my sounding board, we was my blanket of comfort and protection. He was my other half, he was my LOVE. My partner in life and an amazing dad to our boys. And in one moment was ripped away from me. As I write this tears are falling down my face as I can still remember the heartbreak, the gut wrenching devastation and the overwhelming shock. No better way to describe it than hell on earth. The defeat I felt still crushes me when I think when I think about my hardest days. I was told often how strong I was, looking back I know I was, but I didn't feel strong. I felt like I couldn't breath, I felt completely lost.

How did I get to where I am today... Love carried me through. The love I received from my family, my friends, our community. The immense love I have for my husband and our boys. With grief I've come to realize...we grieve and I mean the the broken hearted bring us to our knees cant breath grief for OUR love for them. And we find our happiness for THEIR love for us. Every morning we wake up, we don't know what love will unravel throughout the day...its all love. Our good days and our bad days...its all love.

A huge reason for where I am today, I got HELP. My healing journey started with somatic experience therapy. This was my first experience in learning how we hold our trauma our deep intensity of energy in our bodies. The trauma of finding my husband wasn't just affecting my mind, it was affecting my whole body. I slept with a heated blanket cranked to high to try and sooth my aching body, I had the those Dr Hoes electric shock pads on me daily to try and relieve the pain that I was carrying. I looked like a old lady walking around, almost hunch over... pretty much every part of me hurt.

Through my therapy I learned that the moment I found my husband I froze, when we are in shock there is a reason our bodies shiver, it is the bodies natural way of releasing the trauma we just experienced. But I didn't have any reaction, I just froze. Through my therapy and I'm just gonna say it...Fuck it was hard!!! I was able to release it...I bawled and bawled will my teeth chattering and my body shaking, and with how effing hard that was I could actually feel the weight being lifted off me. Moving forward from therapy I had major relief and tools to help me. When I cry, my teeth chatter now... our conscious brain stops this process because we right away think wtf this isn't normal. But it is normal... teeth chattering, body shivering is the body's natural way to release this energy.

My first energy healing session... the moment that changed everything for me. Leading up to my session ill be honest, I had no idea what I was signing up for and zero knowledge of energy healing modalities. I was in my lowest of lows and just knew I needed help. The universe gave me this door and I'm so happy I opened it. After my first session, I had clarity, a mind blowing experience (maybe a future blog post haha) and most importantly I felt RELIEF. It was a nice change for me to have someone else do the work on me and I got the benefits by just being there.

After my first session, I looked at things differently and looked at our world differently. I knew there was soo much more to the bigger picture... I wanted to know more. How did I feel such relief after one session? Energy, how does this play such a major role in our lives? We have spirit guides? We have access to this higher consciousness? Mind blown... I booked myself multiple more sessions over a course of two months and dove into the journey of trying to find my 'happiness'. I remember saying often...will I ever be happy again.

The beautiful thing that in my journey to finding my happiness I found my purpose. A year later... and here we are...and where this method comes in... I know firsthand the benefits of healing and taking those first steps to try and find some relief. This world is hard, I know it took a big life changing event for me to seek it, but I wish I had invested more into myself long before my husband passing away. One thing when you focus on your own growth and healing, everything around you heals along side of you. But it all starts with YOU. We are so conditioned to find our happiness outside ourselves and this guilt feeling when we want to focus our energy on ourselves. It may be scary for some to take those first steps and find some relief for yourself, but it so worth it!!

So much love,

Carla